It’s been another four month period of lost communications, and as always a lot has happened. Given the topic at the end of the last post, and the gap up until now, I’d say its fairly obvious that I failed the BQ again. I think this is largely in part the reason I quit writing as it was quite a blow. Even four months later I’m still flabbergasted on how I could have failed it again. Regardless whats done is done and speculating about it only further irritates me.
The candle light of hope is very dim. I have to say with each passing day the feeling of helplessness in achieving my dream increases, as does the acceptance of never achieving it; which depresses me. Actually sitting here and thinking about it makes it real again. Not to say that I haven’t been feeling it the past four months, because I have. It’s just that over the past four months I’ve been so busy it was easier to brush off; especially because I was interning at PHX/P50.That crutch however is gone now, and its time to get back on the horse for the new semester (which starts tomorrow).
Needless to say we have a lot to talk about.