Here I am, another early morning at a coffee shop studying for this weeks two midterms before work. Thankfully these two are my last two, and they include the written portion of ATC441 and ATC332’s midterm. Of the three I took last week Aviation Law (AMT442) was by far the most brutal; to be honest it wasn’t very fair. However, he supposedly examines the entire classes results and curves according. Therefore I’m not to concerned, but we’ll have to see what happens.
Yesterday I finally reached out to my friend who is in the academy. Astonishingly he’s already on his final performance assessment this week; this means he’s at the end and it is make or break time. I have no doubt he’ll pass, and thankfully it sounds like he’ll be able to choose a facility that is not only close to his home but is also an up down. We talked a bit about how hard it is to maintain faith that you’ll get picked up by the FAA, and it was pretty enlightening.
When you get towards the end of your schooling you have to start focusing on laying a foundation for your backup career plan(s). Doing this really shines the light on the fact that never becoming a controller is a real possibility. Which in turn chips away at the blind faith of “I’ll get picked up if I keep trying.” This is especially hard when you finally get to the point you’ve been waiting years and years for: when you start running problems on the simulator. Here I am finally controlling airplanes but outside of the simulator I’m focused on how I’m going to establish connections to help a future career of airline dispatching propagate. I’m just glad to hear he went through the same thing, and I suspect that this is probably a feeling shared by all ATC students who are rational enough to set backups in place.
Needless to say when you start to let the self doubt of never being able to achieve your dream accumulate, it hurts. Unfortunately this breach appears to be unavoidable, and I suspect you just need to grab a bucket and start shoveling the self doubt overboard before the ship takes on too much and sinks. Let’s just hope the rate at which I’m shoveling is faster then the leak.